"And Joab said to Amasa, "Is it well with you, my brother?" And Joab took Amasa by the beard with his right hand to kiss him. But Amasa did not observe the sword that was in Joab's hand. So Joab struck him with it in the stomach and spilled his entrails to the ground...and he died" (2 Sam. 20:9-10).
Joab, who was for many years the captain of David's army, was a very prideful and vindictive man. Although he was a valiant leader, he could not handle someone else being promoted in his place or doing what he believed to be an affront to him. On more then one occasion he took out (killed) other men in David's army that he felt did him wrong or that were chosen over him by the king. In second Samuel chapter 20 we find one such case. It appears that David felt that Joab had been disloyal to him and therefore he called on Amasa to lead his military into battle instead of Joab. Joab felt slighted and subtly and treacherously killed Amasa. Pretending to be his friend, Joab kissed and greeted Amasa with the words, "Is it well with you, my brother," before stabbing him in the stomach. "Kind words often proceed from cruel hearts. Hatred is frequently covered with deceit. This was the case with Joab, and with many others since his day. But a bad man may furnish us with a good text, and what was wickedly used at first—may be kindly employed by us now" (James Smith).
Joab's life and actions present a profound contrast to the way true Christians ought to relate to others. Christians ought to be genuinely concerned for the well being of their brothers and sisters in Christ. We ought to be regularly asking, "Is it well with you, my brother?" And this type of inquiry should not be mere words. In the case of Joab his kind inquiry were simply disguising his hatred and treacherous intentions. Our kind inquiries might not be covering a bitter and resentful heart, but too often they are just mere words that are said with no heart. We often greet one another with inquires such as "How are you doing" but often this kind of inquiry are just empty words that are nothing more then a polite greeting. And often the person receiving our polite inquiries receive it as such. In others words they are not really believing that we are really wanting to know or that we really care how they are doing.
If you really are concerned about how someones is doing ask the question more than once. Ask the question and gently pull the person to the side and ask it again. Ask the question more than once and be willing and ready to help do what you can. In fact we should not only inquire of the well being of another more than once, but we should offer our help if their is a need more than once. Why? Because most people will politely refuse and dismiss our first offer to help as just polite words. The Apostle John wrote, "But whoso hath this world's good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him? 18 My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth" (1 John 3:17-18). Real Christians don't just talk the talk they walk the walk.
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